The International Terrorist Cafe

I am coming to you from the house o'dreams, AKA 70s Porn House, AKA 'hoshit its awesome' house, now with internet, telly and phone!
SO YEAH, PROPER POST COMING SOON!

Last night I went out for drinks with amiame, my new/future housemate, and she stayed over and so this morning I decided that it would be an excellent idea to go to the local cafe, The Cafe (yay Bizzle and your wonderfulness) for coffee and bacon, and then we went to the charity shop down the road and bought the first thing we will put in our house:


We have named him Bede as Anna is an Medievalist and he therefore has to have an Anglo Saxon name, and we will serve tea to Anna's priest when he comes to bless the house in him, as apparently what happens when you move into a house and you're Catholic? The things I don't know through being lazily C of E.

Also we bought Shakespeare magnetic poetry, Anna bought an amazing velvet ball gown and I got a leather jacket and swallow earrings of deliciousness. Also she has promised to refer to the area as Bizzle so its not just me trying to make fetch happen on my own.

I'm supposed to be having a day of sorting and cleaning and instead have been reading utter filth and listening to crap on Spotify.

BESTIVALLL
In my head you have to say it in a cuban accent, like the Cuban Brothers.
What can I say? Ep. Highlights were the WEATHER, the Zane Lowe DJ set, BURLESQUE AFTERNOON TEA, Mika, Lily Allen, Klaxons (what we're pretty sure they were saying was their final gig?), THE FOOD, Speech Debelle, Bjorn Again, the Afterburner and not being a hideous amount of pain all the time. Dear Arch Supports, I owe you, Love Sarah.
The BBC says it was well good as well

I wish I'd been in a better place of mind when watching Elbow but I found them very underwhelming. It looked and sounded great but the atmosphere just wasn't there, everyone was waiting for the big orchestral singles but between those were very intricate and intimate songs that didn't translate to HUGE FESTIVAL HEADLINER thing, and on top of that we were very tired and disappointed we hadn't be able to get backstage passes. Also we missed what I thought wasn't much of Massive Attack but evidently was a lot since I missed Teardrop. I wish I'd listened to Radio 1 for 6 months before and actually found some new bands. Also I didn't have I'm On A Boat on my phone during the ferry rides and then when Beth emailed me it my phone refused to download it.
Everyone was really psyched for MGMT but they were awful :( The crowd were better at their songs than they were.
Bat for Lashes was really good! Adorable and such a tight, well done set.
BESTIVAL RUMOUR: Michael Buble died in a car crash. Untrue.
Andrew Maxwell was not as good as last year, neither was Fullmooners. Disappointing but still hilarious all the same.

Ah! Altogether IT WAS SO GOOD!!! Oh god! Ah, festival summers are the best summers.

However great it was, I think I've done all the Bestivals and probably wont be doing them again. Next time I think I'm going to hit something with a better lineup.

I now feel like I've conquered camping thanks to my awesome tent+inflatable matress+sleeping bag+blanked combo.

I have showered, I no longer smell, people can come near me now. But I'm going to sleep in an ACTUAL BED after travelling for 14 hours. And possibly watch SPN. And read my flist. Tomorrow is photos!

(Also I read Generation Kill and it was awesome)

(I figure...)

First day of my Ashes at Headingley adventure wasn't the greatest match ever. England were ALL OUT for 102 just after lunch. For those who don't love the cricket, that is bad. Australia then posted a very nice 198-4 by close of play.
England batted terribly, as shown by the score, but it also sucked because there was no Flintoff and no KP, no decent score, barely any boundaries, the score just crawled along, punctuated by wicket after wicket. It was awful. Then the bowling was hideous, Harmison managed one good over and I know he's bowled amazingly at county level but he NEVER does well against the Aussies. I think they made a huge mistake bringing on Harmison to replace Flintoff as they have no big hitters in the side currently. Should have bought on that new guy. Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda.

In the evening session everyone was seriously demoralised. I'd been sitting in the West Stand which the media has been hyping as the 'danger stand', full of louts and idiots and the 'Boo Men' and how omg west stand at Headingley is DANGEROUS. Everyone was having a laugh about it and until about 5:30 it was perfectly well behaved. But then they started building beer snakes. Beer Snakes are when you stack empty plastic pint glasses until they become a snake, its all very amusing, but the stadium had a policy of NO SNAKES EVAR and throwing people out if they even touched them, and so the morons building them started to shake them around to throw them everywhere so there'd be no evidence, which led to people who had nothing to do with the snake being thrown out (guys on my left) and people who were building them being left to continue to wreck havoc (guys on my right). It was scary and awful and so I left at 6PM. I'm really glad I'm not in the western terrace on Sunday (I'm in the main stand downstairs, which is right next to both the commentary boxes and the players balcony. Might die of awesome, will let you know).

Came home, and Beth came over but I was stoned from the sun and so a lot useless, so we watched discovery channel and then scoured the highlights to see if you can see me. Unsuccessful yet.

I got home from work and in the 15 minutes it takes me to get home and from when I left Yorkshire County Cricket Club released a final batch of Ashes tickets for next week. So I had a click and managed to snaffle one for the first day! THEN I was on the phone to my mum checking if there were any for my brother, and there weren't, but there was another single on the third day! SO I'M GOING TO TWO DAYS OF THE HEADINGLEY TEST OMGZ YOU GUISE I'M GOING TO THE CRICKET!!!!!!!!!!

Freja came round and I opened the door and grinned like a maniac, once I started I just couldn't STOP.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ASHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It cost £100 but I do not care, GET IN MY SON

I'm greatly enjoying Torchwood. This isn't a surprise really, as I always enjoy Torchwood, even when its shite, because Ianto makes me happy. It used to be Ianto and Tosh, but a girl gets what she's given these days.
What follows isn't really spoilery, just I wanted to use a cut so I can meme it up:

( Unexpected Naked Jack! Oh wait, Naked Jack is always expected )

We need to revive Torchwood York. I need to get back to writing that bit of chicanery. With the celery, and the bisexuality in the water. Instead pucewarrior has been sending me emails and making me write highly ridiculous RPS for her, because she is sick and I love her. The Tennis slash was bad enough, but Darwin/FitzRoy? I DEMAND MY OWN CRACK PAIRINGS.

I've just started playing Osu! Whatever! Ouendan! 2, which is like Elite Beat Agents but now with songs I don't know and actually more crack. I finished the Normal level in about an hour as I have Elite Beat Skillz, but its okay, because they have levels now that don't have any markings. I wonder if I can put said skills on my CV.

I have a migraine and a newly diagnosed stomach ulcer. I want to die. I am too hot and in too much pain.
However Freja and I went to see Some Like It Hot at the City Screen and it was AMAZING.

It is utter tragedy that England are winning so comprehensibly and I cannot watch it despite having Sky. I need to move out so I can be really greedy with the telly again.

Two people I know have got into Oxford now, and so I think it might be time to jump out of the window and try and make something of my life. Anyone got any ideas? My friend from college, John, is off to do a history doctorate, and I think this means he might have got funding as well? We're going for drinks next week, celebrations with cocktails and I will take the opportunity to perve on his very lovely shoulders.

I bought 7 books today off Amazon to try and fill the hole in my heart that the ending of St Lucy's home etc has left. Chemical analysis will probably determine that the book is laced with heroin.

In other news, family is hard and my brain is being annoying. I also think my laptop is starting to decay into death.

MY EVENING:

Green tea and sesame rice
Tofu and Mr Choi (loldenisian joke right there) stir fry
Polish gingerbread and strawberry chocolate covered heart shaped gingerbreads (ilu Poland)
Day 3 of my 'OMGZ CASTIEL' Supernatural binge
Sleep.

BRING IT ON

Me: Its been so long Im starting to treat sex like mythology

Freja: god... seriously sarah good sex is like mythology

Me: Once a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was some fighting and also tiny small robots that go biddly beep.

Meanwhile on a distant moon, a young man enters puberty with a bang
The tides of history march on, what lies within the mysterious H jar, guarded by the fearsome twins, Kim and Lydia?

Coming soon - Star Wars: Revenge of the Syph.

(somehow I don't think I can submit to the 'York sexual health needs a tasteful slogan' work competition.)

So right, apparantly I am a vampire.
Today I was walking down High Petergate (where I know magicians live from the little bit of Jonathan Strange I managed to read before getting distracted) when this old guy, proper Yorkshire gent, stops straight in front of me and says 'You dazzled me!' in a super-shocked voice. I kinda gibbered a bit and slunk into Selkie to gaze lovingly at the sparkly hairbands and reflect that I am now one with the Cullens

I've just spent 40 minutes catching up with Xiaxue. You have no idea how many lohs and lahs I had to refrain from using (loh) in that sentence (lah). Innaccurate usage! So long lah. Can.

Its quite sad that 1. Sparkly is now synonymous with vampires and 2. I know so damn much about Twilight. My oldest friend Jen hates it because it has people drinking animal blood (and she is mad on animal rights, even fictional animal rights) so I had to try and get through to her that there is so much MORE AWFULNESS in it, with the om nom nom pregnancy etc.

Its Friday night, I've done nothing but watch 30 rock and glue my eyelids together through trial run of my new eyelashes. Too much glue. I possibly should eat something, watch something, etc something. Well, I did eat leftover ayam goreng and also leftover cake. Maybe I should eat more leftover cake or make more cap cay.

I might watch Casanova, as I haven't seen it for ages and David Tennant Is Hot (although not so much in that)

( OMG WHO I MISSED YOU )

My computer has officially given up its USB ports, but I have a fix up my sleeve.

Do you like ridiculous projects? Do you like other people's ridiculous projects? Do you like puntastic names?
I've decided randomly to write a thousand 1000 word short stories in the next 5 years. Its given me something to do with goodbye, anyway.

Add me to your feed readers, if you fancy. Sarahribu.

My new Pink Martini CD makes me feel like I'm in a paint advert. Either that or the voiceover will tell me to get down to DFS. I love it.

I have surfaced from my illness. My fever broke at about 3 this morning and I had a decent lump of sleep. All the better, my new charger came this morning with its super long lead so I am now saying FUCK IT, I'm going to dress up in lolita, take my laptop to a cafe and read the completed Drastically Redefining Protocol and do some writing with coffee.

Now, what to wear with my grey velvet?

Twitter is fucking EVIL. I sit at work and twitter and because of it Stephen Fry will not leave my dreams. Its like a subliminal message to buy his books and watch QI reruns. Its okay because I needed to reread Making History anyway (<3 so much).
Its an excellent way to keep up with the news as well. Also adorable fashion bloggers. And James May who eats baked potatoes and bitches about stuff. I'm obsessed!

My feed is here. Er, here.

Am sick, and am therefore not at work. Bye bye, £60. Hello, possibly getting room under control! Also maybe writing something for loveapples! Most likely watching Supernatural dvds.

I'm considering going on holiday to New Zealand later this year, depending on when exactly I get my contract with the NHS and how long it is for. Since right now I don't have any right to holiday, sick pay or a steady job its a pipe dream. NHS are useless, they forgot to create a role for me and so I have to temp until the job description I HAVE HAD TO WRITE is approved, reapproved, banded, advertised, then I have to reapply, interview and get the job. MONTHS. ARGH!

Anyway, New Zealand holiday dream is only possible if I manage to get OldestFriendJen to agree. I'd spend less time shopping if I was with her, we'd be climbing every mountain and fording every stream. Plus drinking and giggling, I would hope. Do they have camels in New Zealand?
Having had a quick look at flights, why are they as expensive to NZ as to Singapore?

I'm in a poverty-induced seriously covetous mood. I want 1. iPhone 2. international playgirl lifestyle 3. an abdomen that isn't sore 4. Convertible Morris Minor 5. proper contract and sick pay

Jumble Sale last night was pretty good, I stupidly did the thing I do EVERY TIME I go to one of those things and put down amazing bits and not buy them. Black silk smoking jacket and apple shaped cooking pot? WHY? Did however buy a red cardi, silk neckscarf, giant apple bathbomb and odd glass bottle with a rose in it so not a total loss. Am such a moron. Beth and Kafers also got good hauls, especially the giant carved wooden candlesticks/ashtrays.

Lost time now! Bonus of being ill, dont have to watch it in the dark.

WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS...SHIT?
Do you not realise it is the ASHES in A FEW MONTHS?!?!!?! Not getting 350 in the first innings was bad enough, but ALL OUT FOR FIFTY ONE?!?!?!?! I actually did a little scream. I hurt my throat.

There are three things you can rely on in life; death, taxes and England collapses.

Australia are at their weakest, they've been losing a lot and a lot of the old scary guard are retired. Why, why, why can't we just be good for ONCE.

We need an A.J Raffles right now, amirite? Or at least a new Freddie Flintoff.

Mark your diaries, 27th June 2009, the Empire rises again birthday ball. Its going to bankrupt me but its going to be so very worth it.

Hyde from L'arc~en~ciel is now 40. This means I am now officially old.